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The Sex Pendulum

January 16, 2013

IMG_9151Having today counselled yet another middle-aged victim of childhood sexual abuse, I began thinking. So many people today are worried that our sexual liberation is swinging far too far to the other end of the spectrum – from the sheltered, inhibited or ignorant sexual lives of our parents and ancestors. Almost weekly I could cry upon hearing another tragic tale of sexual abuse that utterly marred a young life and ruined, thereafter, any hope of ‘normal’ adult sensual intimacy, and all of the loving beauty it would contain.

The current swing of that pendulum, towards huge sexual openness and expression, is entirely a good thing. So much damage was done via the perpetuated thoughts that our sensuality and sexuality were wicked – in the days when denial ruled.  As long as the many diverse sexual penchants is between consenting adults there should be a reduction in the extreme frustrations of lives led without such expression. The result should be much less abuse  inflicted on the young and vulnerable.

When that pendulum starts to find balance we will be in a better place. And that can’t help but happen. Having learned that there are many sexual tastes and habits, the next generation will realise it is all still pretty empty, and that something is still missing.  They will go in search of that which makes it all magical. They will have greater acceptance of all we can be as sensual and sexual beings. The task of our children will then be to learn so much more about LOVE, rather than our ancestors who would have needed to have learned about Love AND their sexuality.  By not just paying lipservice to being a parent, or to being a partner – can we help them by our example?  Our existence should be all about offering those we cherish our unconditional love, and teaching our children about such love. But too often we need to slow down and consider – do we do enough of that?

(The “pornification” of our children will be the subject of one of my next blogs.)

  1. Valuable insight for societies of sexually wounded!

    • Apologies for late response, but yes. So much healing needed for damage done in so many ways. I believe ‘suffering’ to our growth is the old way which can (in time!) be replaced by getting us there by love and truth.

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